Tuesday, August 21, 2012

The va-jay-jay quilt

I wanted to make something fabulous for my co-worker's new baby girl. We have worked together for years, and she has recently gotten into quilting herself. She is a fan of strip quilts and straight line quilting, so I thought I would make something different, outside her comfort zone, with lots of curves. I saw this quilt by Jenny and thought it the perfect pattern!


The nursery was to be done in greys and yellows, so I decided to combine these with some pink for the quilt. I pulled out my Quick Curve Ruler and cut up some of my precious Little Folks voile for the project, paired with Kona charcoal. This was my first time using the ruler and it was a breeze to use. Love it!

I cut and pieced, added a border, and used some Aurafil thread to do some pebble quilting on all the grey bits, new to me, and incidentally, very time and thread consuming! I ran out midway and had to wait 3 weeks for my new spools to arrive. I left the voile pieces unquilted to remain soft and silky to the touch. Then I did a few rows of hand stitching along the borders using Perle cotton thread to finish it off. I had a lovely time finishing the hand quilting and binding while at the lake.


But here's the thing. At some point along the way, I got it in my head that the blocks looked like...well, vaginas. And, being pink, fushia and yellow, they kinda looked like vaginas with various degrees of infection.

That's a hard thing to get out of your mind, once it's there.

So, when it was all said and done, I held it up to my husband skeptically, telling him my views ("yah, you are kinda right!"), and asked if this thing was even giftable. Well, that was when the unexpected happened. Last But Not Least spied the quilt, and declared with all the passion that a 5 year old can muster (which is quite a lot): Mom!! I love it! It is your best quilt ever!!

Huh?

I ignored her, thinking it would pass, but brought her along with me to be my quilt holder for some photographs. Between each and every one, she would give the quilt a mighty embrace:


And she pleaded, please Mom, can we keep it?? Pleeeeeeeeeeze?

In the end, who can resist that face? So, the quilt was granted as hers, and she took it outside to play with her lake friends, spending 3 full hours playing variations of Twister and leap frog with the quilt. No word of a lie! THREE HOURS. Worth its weight in gold. Who'd've thunk it?



And at dinner time that night, as we feasted on a gourmet meal of hot dogs and Kraft mac and cheese, LBNL declared that while dinner was superb, it was the second greatest thing Mama made that day, after the quilt ;)

So, it looks like I will be cursed with looking at that va-jay-jay quilt for years to come! And I have started a new (and anatomy free) replacement quilt for Baby Kiera!

Shared today for some giggles at Quilt Story and at Sew Modern Monday.

38 comments:

Lynne said...

What a smile-worthy story! When I first looked at the quilt, it reminded me of giant lips on some weird cartoon character!

Lilli said...

I didn't think of vaginas at all, for me it seems to be lots of kissing lips all over the quilt.
I love the colors and I admire your perfectness and patience in making quilts!

SoozeM said...

Well I think it's gorgeous, and even if I squint with my head on the side I still can't see anything anatomical, I just see brackets () :)

Kelly O. said...

yeah I totally see it! My eyes were watering as I was laughing reading this post! Hilarious! It was made to perfection however. Many a gynocologist would be proud to own such a treasure :)

JuneBug said...

Hilarous!!! This is a keepsake story to go along with that keepsake quilt. It is beautiful, and it's so neat the different games they played with it!!

randi--i have to say said...

Oh my goodness! So funny! And such a pretty quilt. Great colors!

Charlotte said...

bwahahahahahahahahaaa!!!!

yep, it totally does

Patti said...

The way your mind works just kills me! Too darn funny Oprah would love it!

Elizabeth S. said...

Thanks for the laugh! You're right, though. Once it's in your mind, it's hard to get out! But, a perfect pattern for a charity event - particularly one that benefits women. You're youngest is precious and a wonderful reminder that we weren't always this "well-informed." Enjoy the pleasure in LBNL. Cheers!

bethanndodd said...

You crack me up!
Smiles~Beth

Jennifer said...

LOL! You have trumped me in the slightly off naming of a quilt. It is beautiful though so I can see why everyone loved it!

Jennifer :)

PS I dare you to make this quilt into a quilt along... ;)

traceyjay said...

hilarious!!!
love the story, and these photos have gorgeous lighting too, by the way!
And you crack me up...didn't expect this to be the title of your post! :)

kat129 said...

SO FUNNY!!! I snorted coffee out my nose - totes worth it! Thanks for sharing :-) Oh and infected va jay jays are way grosser colors than the pretty ones on your quilt. Also - love the hand stitching in different colors around the edge - looks fantastic.
cheers!
-k

Lindsay@fortheloveofcotton said...

Baaaaaa Haaaaaa Haaaaaa!!! I could hardly finish reading your post because of the tears in my eyes ;) That is hilarious. It is sometimes funny just how innocent kids are (or how dirty minded WE adults are)! I think the quilt looks great and one of these days, you can share with LBNL the story behind the quilt. I would love to be a fly on the wall when you two have that conversation!!!

Jan said...

Funny post about a great quilt.

Katie B. said...

Well, yep. There you have it. This is, in fact, the first va jay jay quilt I've ever seen!

Jacey said...

Oh, that is awesome. And yes, after you said it, I definitely see it. ;) But how awesome that your daughter wants to keep it. And it is alovely, no doubt of that!!

Tiara said...

beautiful quilt but I can see where you are coming from... any tips for sewing with voile?

Ellie Q said...

Beautiful quilt, great story! Love the gray background.

Poppyprint said...

I love it that LBNL loves the quilt so much and gets to keep it!!

Little Island Quilting said...

Really, really great quilt. Back with a (quilting) bang (I hope)!

Marian said...

Hilarious!! I can totally see that too now...haha! Great story. Thanks for the laugh today!

Katy Cameron said...

Bwahaha, love it, and, err, yeah, I totally see where you're coming from!

Angela Greenwald said...

Great story! Thank you for your humor and candor! I love the quilt...va-jay-jay and all!

Jennifer said...

omgosh! i totally see where you're coming from, but its beautiful regardless, its cute that she loves it so much!

Shay said...

Im going to be seeing va jay jays everywhere now. You totally crack me up girl.

I think it looks lovely ...but cant get that thought out of my head now!

Try not to think of private bits when you make the replacement. And if you do please dont share it with me ...

QuiltyGirl said...

Oh I love your sense of humor! So glad you could make your little girl's day!

Quiltstory said...

Ahhh, you made me laugh!! And the various degrees of infection, CLASSIC! Love it!

Svetlana said...

WOW!!! what a mind you have, Kristie! Love the quilt, your little girl is right to like it so much.

Lily said...

I think you need to break out that "50 shades of gray" post....that book is having an effect on you!!! You continue to crack me up!! : )

Little Blue Mouse said...

"with various degrees of infection" absolutely cracked me up!.

Jenniffier Kramer said...

That is so lovely. The colors are perfect and so is the quilting!

Barbara said...

Haha, this is great! I can totally see it, my school put on the Vagina Monologues every year and the posters for it just had big brackets on them...I'm sure the girls who put them on would love this. haha

Jenny said...

Funny!! Chills!! Great story!! I can see it now too "V"!! Let me know when you want to see my "V" quilt, it will astound you!!

diane said...

Hysterical...but a precious story. This is why I love blogging. This story is now forever in the memory books of so many!

Jessica said...

Bahaha - that is fantastic :) love this story!

Your Creative Friends at the Calico House said...

Love the pebble quilting and your fabric choices. Just really pretty.

Kelly said...

Haha! That's awesome!