Funny things my kids say- the "where do babies come from?" edition

It has been awhile since I shared some of my funnies with you, and this one is too good to skip (though my son may kill me later in life if he reads this).

And I am at a total loss as to what kind of picture would be suitable for this post, so I am going imageless on this one (you can thank me later).

Ever since my niece was adopted, our kids have understandably had many questions about where exactly babies come from.  My 9 year old son, Big G, especially.  Finally, he wore me down and I decided to give him the low down.  I gave him a somewhat flowery description of the biology of making babies.  To which his reply was, "you know that is totally gross, right?"  Um, right.

Anyways, it remains on his brain because every now and then a question pops up out of the blue.  He and I were driving alone in the van one day when one such moment occurred.

Big G:  Mom, when people have sex, does the man or the woman go on top?
Me (sweating bullets but trying to look calm): Well, that depends.....
Big G: And is there penis rubbing involved?
Me: (Gulp) There CAN be.....
Big G: Now would I do that part or does the doctor?

Silence.

Me:  Um.....there isn't a doctor present when you have sex, Buddy.
       (side note- there is for me, but I am married to one.  haha!)
Big G: WHAT?!?!?  You mean you don't do it in a HOSPITAL???
Me: No....most people go to the hospital for the baby to come out, but not to put it IN.
Big G: So you can do it ANYWHERE??  Like, OUTSIDE?? (waving arms frantically to the street outside our van)
Me: Well, usually in the privacy of your home is a good idea.  Otherwise, you can get arrested....
Big G, crossing arms and shaking head in disgust: I just do NOT understand this sex thing AT ALL.