Tuesday, March 22, 2011

The truth about me

I am having some trouble with balance lately.

I have been going through a bit of a selfish phase this past while. I am starting to see that this isn't working for me of my family. I guess I have spent the past 7 years giving my all to my family, my work. We had 3 kids in 3 years, moved across the country and back, bought a house, renovated it, bought a practice, renovated it. I was tired. I was needing something for ME. I found it in sewing, etc. It has made me happy. BUT...sometimes it also adds to the chaos in my life. I try to do too much, I am thinking about it when I am with my kids, when I should be playing with them and focusing on them. I am not as interested in my career. It is great to have a hobby that you enjoy, but it should probably enhance your life, not take it over. Really, sometimes I can just buy a baby gift at the Gap instead of whipping up a quilt, right?

I feel like I am losing some closeness with my kids. I think part of it is the age and stage- this year one started full time school in Grade 1, another started Kindergarten at a new school, the last started preschool. They are getting bigger, more independent....but I don't want them to become distant. I need to pull them closer now more than ever. Too often I am too tired from trying to do it all, and end up snapping at them. There has been too much t.v. time. I need to tune in, and not just for the big stuff.

I need to find a balance of me as a mom, a wife, a sister/daughter/friend, with my work and just as Kristie: none of the above. I need to just sit and read a book. I need to phone an old friend to catch up. I need to drink a cup of tea, while doing NOTHING ELSE. I need to get more fresh air. I need to give my dog a scratch behind the ears until his leg starts thumping. I need to get to sleep at 10 o'clock, regularly.

I am going to try and start that. Today. I'm off to put the kettle on.....

26 comments:

felicity said...

I hear you, sister.

Pink Stitches said...

I totally understand how you feel. I'm trying not to let my hobby take over my life too. My son comes first :-)

Kim @ craftyNHmom said...

You are so right! We all need to find the right balance. It's hard to do, but important. Thanks for the reality check! I think I needed that today.

Kati said...

You described exactly how I'm feeling today, and recently for that matter. I think we all might need to make some changes.

AMKreations said...

I had to realize that too...which is partly why I was glad that my "sewing business" door closed. I miss the extra $$...but not the stress of having to sew and the time it took away from my children and even me. Yes, we do need a break...nothing wrong with that!

I hope you enjoy your tea and thanks for being candid with us all today!

Jennifer said...

I applaud you for your ah-ha moment and what you are doing...or not doing, as the case may be.

Life speeds by at lightening speed and moments we wish years later we could recapture or even, perhaps, do a bit differently isn't possible.

Enjoy your children and nurture them, play with them and teach them. I'm not implying that you haven't, but this post touched me because as one of your 'older' readers, I know all too well how things and stuff take over and once the kidlets are grown and have left the nest, you want your memories to be fondly remembered and not of the "if only I had..." kind.

Enjoy your tea, your children, your family and friends. And enjoy your hobbies as they fit in.

Cheers to you!

Stine said...

I think finding balance (and maintaining it) is a lifetime struggle!

Sarah @ FairyFace Designs said...

I really identify with this post, sewing stuff has added to some of my stress lately! Balance is elusive and I'm not a balanced person by nature, I tend to throw myself into things then have nothing in reserve. Enjoy your cup and take the time you need :-)

MaryJo said...

Hi Kristie,
I, too, am one of your "older" followers. I often wonder how young moms like you have time to do it all!! I was a stay at home mom (4 children) and now I'm working full time. I have 3 grandsons and one more due in the fall. I cherish my time with my kids and grandchildren because I know too well how fast it goes by! Even though it sounds like an old cliche, I'll say it......it goes by sooooo fast. Enjoy your kids - that's the very most important thing. Stay involved with them as much as you can - the way you stay involved does change, but you have to make those adjustments as you go along. I wish I knew then what I know now!!!

Balance is key!! Good luck to you!

Emily said...

I could have written this. I feel the exact same way.

Hugs to you, sister!

Andrea said...

Kristi - you are right, I feel the same way. It sounds like you are going down the right path! You are a great crafter (and all of us can attest to that ) but more importantly, I'll bet you're also a great person, wife and mother, without having to sew/glue/stitch/work/accomplish or do one single thing!

Liz said...

I hear u sister! I have been feeling the exact same way! I don't know how some of these bloggers do it, but I am tired of trying to keep up!

quiltilicious said...

Blimey - I thought it was all reaching to a crescendo of you announcing you were giving up blogging and quilting and then you were going to ship me all your fabric.

I was ready with the Kleenex, I really was ;-)

Megan said...

Agreed! I started back at work today and can already tell something is going to have to give. Good luck finding balance girl!

Sara @ Sew Sweetness said...

I completely hear what you're saying. My kids are 4 and 2-1/2, and I'm constantly thinking about sewing projects in my head during the day, anxious for when I can work on them at night. I'm sure it gets in the way of playing with them, as I'm probably a little distracted. It's something I definitely need to work on.

QuiltyGirl said...

I hear ya. Please share tips when you figure out how to rebalance. :)
I think I'm going to stop taking every commission request that comes my way. I love making quilts, but i really hate the "can you hem these pants and take in this dress and fix these missing buttons?" requests.
Good luck! I will still be watching your blog for updates. ;)

Katie B. said...

I'm with you! I work from home in the afternoon, and it's a little bit hard! My son often wants to sit in my lap when I'm working on the computer, and I tend to say, "Not now, mommy is working." I need to be better about taking breaks to pay him attention. Thanks for the reminder!!

Natalie said...

I can see from the comments that this really resonated with others-- myself included! I always feel like there isn't enough time to get to everything I want (or need!) to do. It's really nice to know I'm not alone, and I appreciate your honesty in putting this out there! It is a great idea to check in with yourself every so often to make sure the priorities are in order :)

JanetK said...

Like everyone else who commented, your post really hit home. Thanks for being so brave about sharing what (for me anyway) is a hard truth to own up to!

Debbie said...

good for you!
enjoy your time :)

Lee said...

Wow, what a great post. I completely agree, I struggle with this too. It's sooooo hard sometimes to get that balance right. We need creative fulfillment, and we need to have something "of our own," but not at the expense of our families.

I guess maybe that's why I'm sitting here writing this comment at 1:30 a.m.? : )

Anna said...

i hear ya! loud and clear, I think I have the exact same feelings! and adding work onto everything else just makes it more complicated.

A. said...

Girl, you just said about everything that's in my heart. Thanks for putting that out there - I think a lot of us resonate with that today!

Charity said...

Sing sister,Sing! I know what you mean. I love quilting, but I find it challenging to keep up with the blogging community. In some ways I envy those that have been able to turn a hobby into a job.
My reality will probably never be that. So I keep going to college, I balance family in there, and quilting.

MariQuilts said...

I try to sew what I love.....and try not to have to much have to sewing. Balance is such a difficult thing.

Meg said...

Yep, yep, yep! It is so hard! Don't worry...you are not alone!