My kids. In a restaurant.

I generally try to AVOID restaurants with my kids. I swear I do try to instill manners and good behavior in them on a daily basis, but these habits seem to be swiftly abandoned by my offspring as soon as we set foot in a restaurant. I am continually embarrassed by them. Really, these are the times when I contemplate why we as modern parents hesitate to spank our children. Is it just my kids?

They also have moments when they delight me, don't get me wrong. An unsolicited "thank you" occasionally occurs. They might even sit still for 6 minutes at a time. But generally....well, you get the picture.

On our road trip, we had the opportunity to go to restaurants twice a day, for about 12 days. Super duper. Here is a small sampling of things said and done:


Last But Not Least, my 4 year old daughter:

We gave each child a dollar bill to play a video game at a family restaurant. This was extra exciting because, in Canada, our lowest denomination of paper money is $5 (so they thought they were getting something good). LBNL proceeded whoop and shake her booty in delight. She then turned to the lovely senior couple at the table beside us, who were watching with smiles, and then said, "In your FACE people, I have CASH!"

Reclining in her chair, spread eagle while wearing a dress. I ask her to please close her legs so the place doesn't get a view of her panties. "Ahhhh....but it is so relaxing!"

She ordered Mac and Cheese for 3 nights in a row, but never ate a bite, so I asked her why:
"None taste like yours, Mom. Yours is delicious, although you make lots of other yucky suppers."

She calls beer "beard." On several occasions she would exclaim, at the top of her voice, "Mommy has a beard!"


The Middle Child, our 6 year old daughter:

"Animal heads on the wall in restaurants make me sad because they are dead."
"So is the animal from the burger you are eating."
"Yes, but this animal is DELICIOUS!"

When we went to an amazing vegetarian restaurant, called The Cheese Factory, she said, " I wish there was a MEAT Factory!"

Big G, our 7 year old son:

Yah, he doesn't say much as he tends to be stuffing entire sandwiches, etc, in his mouth in one bite, while simultaneously kicking his sisters under the table.

Glad to be eating meals in the privacy of our home again!