Monday, January 2, 2012

How do you like this f$#*ing tutorial?

Sometimes, only a four letter word will do.

I had planned to come back to blogging with more cheerful sentiments but here is what is on my mind today:

Crayons + snowsuits + drier = no good.

So we rung in new year's day with all the kids snowsuits covered in multicolored Crayon splatters. My hubs said that I should claim this is a new do-it-yourself look and so I thought I would give you all a little "tutorial".


How to make multicolored laundry!

1. Go to Perkins and have kids swipe some crayons and stuff them in coat pockets (tutorial on how to turn your kids into shoplifters at a later date).
2. Go on a gleeful sleigh ride (on a one horse open sleigh) and get your kids thoroughly covered in horse droppings as they run behind said sleigh.


3. Peel snowsuits off children and send through your wash and dry cycle. Go ahead! Put it on high heat for even better results!
4. Experience the multicolored splendor!!! Teach your kids some new profanity!! Amaze your friends with your domestic prowess!!

Here are some photos of one jacket after about 37 rounds of stain remover, WD-40 and washing so this is "clean"....it actually did get out about 80% of it, except that darn blue.....wish I had taken a "before" but I was in a serious rage and cry mode, then hunkered over my drier for about 2 hours scraping out all the melted wax. Grrrrr....



So if you see my kids walking around in dirty jackets looking like they are homeless, think again! It's the latest tutorial on OCD ;)

38 comments:

Amy @ Increasingly Domestic said...

Ha ha ha!!!! Oh Kristie, I am so sorry! Thanks for sharing your horror with us and making my Monday morning so much better:) Happy New Year!

Stephanie said...

OMG! I think this actually beats my "I didn't check the underwear of my potty training preschooler close enough and spent 2 hours scraping poop out of the door seal on my washer"! Of course yours is way more permanant. So sorry this happened to you. I would have cried too :(

piece peace said...

Oh! Not the way you wanted to start the New Year! I am so sorry. As a Mom of three, I will be checking all pockets before throwing the clothes in the washing machine and dryer. Thank you for the hilarious yet cautionary post about your multi colored disaster.

Little Island Quilting said...

ooooh, welcome back. I missed you.
(But don't tell anyone).
Oh and sorry about the jackets. I regularly leave paper tissues in pockets and spend time descraping.

Svetlana said...

Oh, so sorry to hear that. It would definitely make me cry. From now on when my kids or husband leave tissues in their pockets and it's all over our black clothes I'll just tell myself it's better than crayon all over their winter jackets.

Amy Friend said...

Oh no...I feel your pain. My son left a marker in the pocket of his winter coat last year with very similar results :(

Jennifer said...

Thanks for my first hysterical laugh of 2012! I'm glad you {and us} can laugh about it now!

Jennifer :)

carolyn said...

I am so sorry. I know exactly how you felt. I recently washed and dried a pack of gum (wet dryer sheets took it off) but the worst thing I ever did was wash and dry my son's roofing clothes. Pitch loves the inside of the drier. I took peanut butter to that mess. Both times it cleaned up fine, but I had a lot anxiety during the process.

Patti said...

Well crap Kristie! That's no way to start the New Year. I think Fagin may have some new recruits though!! They do have that kinda tie die look :-0.

Michelle said...

oh dear... just breathe. kids, they do these silly things sometimes. when they are older, and have kids of their own, you will have a good laugh about the time they stuffed their pockets full of crayons and they went through the wash.

Katy Cameron said...

OMG, I think my mum would have made me go without a jacket to learn from that one lol Of course her favourite trick was to throw a navy blue sports sock in with the white wash for that lovely grey underwear look...

Carrie said...

OMG! I love you and this is my kind of tutorial!! I washed my neices MP3 player on Christmas Eve and had to make a running trip to Hell-Mart to get another one!

Connie said...

I feel so sorry for you but it did give me a chuckle! I remember those kind of things happening when my kids were small.

ryanamysmom said...

I had a job in college that required me to wear all white - so after a few days on the job, I decided to run some laundry. (Did I mention that I was young and vain and wore bright lipstick back then?) So I washed a full load of whites with a bright pink lipstick in the pocket of a pair of pants. Every item had dots of pink like confetti.... And no, bleach didn't help. I feel your pain, and I hope this little problem doesn't derail you from doing good!

QuiltyGirl said...

Ugh. :(
Maybe they will all hit a growth spurt so you can get new jackets?
Really, though, it's not too noticeable. ;)

Lee said...

Oh NOOOO! Not fun! I'm glad you can have a sense of humor about it though! Happy new year - it has nowhere to go but up, right? : )

Flying Blind... said...

Oh dear! That is tragic! I am laughing too much - because it didn't happen to me, yet!

Kim C said...

tee,hee,hee!

Sarah said...

Oh Kristie, I think our kids are long lost twins. That is exactly the sort of thing that would happen in this house (if we had snow, or snowsuits). Lets just say the whole getting stuff out of clothes is something I spend a lot of time trying (and failing miserably) at. Hope you are ok now!

Shay said...

As far as tutorials go , this looks like something I could actually do . (And I already have the crayons and the clothes !) Thanks for the tute.

My sister once put our cat in the dryer because she wanted her to be “fluffy” . Try cleaning cat crap out of a dryer. My Mum was not impressed . The cat was fine but my sister’s bum wasn’t.

You really must stop being hilariously funny or I need to stop reading you first thing in the morning, My brain is very confused about me making laughing noises before Im properly awake.

bethanndodd said...

Well that sucks! Sorry for the crappy start to your New Year but this is the funniest f*$#ing tutorial I have ever read! Here's to a better week! Smiles~Beth

Anonymous said...

I had a similar experience when my kids were small. I found Murphys Oil Soap was a help. Poured it straight on the melted crayon markings and it helped but I don't think there is anything that takes it all off completely! KIDS!

Katie B. said...

Ack! Hoodlums! You should make them sleep out in the snow to teach them a lesson. :)

Cathy said...

oh man! wait until they get older and leave tubes of lip gloss in their pockets. Erg!

I, also, leave wads of kleenex in pockets routinely. so much so that it seems a gift when I don't have to pick bits of white floof off everything!

Mimi said...

Awww that is too bad!! I kinda had the same thing happen with my kids but it was summer time and crayons were cooking in the heat of the car when we were travelling... some pretty pillow covers were ruined :-(

felicity said...

Oh dear. Make sure all the crayon's out of the dryer so you don't have a repeat "test" of this tuorial! :(

Linda said...

Crayolas in the washer/dryer happened to me many years ago (my girls are now 28 and 31). I used WISK liquid laundry detergent and repeatedly washed the clothes (and did not dry after that first time). Eventually, all the crayon came out! I hope this helps!

I really enjoy your blog!

Marian said...

Oh no!!! How funny and agonizing this will be to remember! You deserve a prize for handling that one!

Poppyprint said...

Trying to decide who had the worse laundry debacle, you or me. Our front loader had been sporadic on spinning for over a month. Finally, the day before my sister's family of 4 arrived for a 7 day visit last week, I threw in the bathmats and laundry room mat. Millions of bubbles. Water 1/2 way up the door. Shit. Run rinse cycle 5 times. Just made more bubbles. Bailed out machine. Google search for our model. Diagnosis: clogged drain. So, at 11 p.m. husband dismantles washing machine to find a nickel lodged in drainpipe acting as a butterfly valve. He also finds 2 pennies and a quarter, all black. They've been there a while. OMG. Also, two shock absorber spring things that suspend the drum are completely sheared off.

I suppose the saving grace is that your kids will all outgrow those jackets and they'll need new ones next year anyway. Trying to determine if 3 new winter coats = one new front loader, even though this isn't a contest I want to win. Slap me now.

Elämäntapaidiootti said...

Thank you. So this kind of %#¤ can happen to decent people around the world, and not just for me and our family?!

Michele said...

No fun, no fun at all. I guess you will always be checking their pockets in the future. My little man always put small rocks in his. And this past weekend I found a carmel candy in the dryer from hubby's shirt that he forgot about. Thankfully it didn't melt all over everything.

*kate said...

Ah, what a major bummer. At least you got a good laugh out of it in the end! So sorry. :-(

Jules said...

oh dear!, well thanks for the tutorial.....and welcome back.

Kim said...

OH NO!!!!!!! that is all :o)

Natasha said...

Oh my! I would have been in tears and teaching my girls new words.

Thanks for the reminder that I ust remember to check pockets!

Sasha said...

Ack!!! That does not sound like fun, but your tutorial did make me laugh =D Maybe throw an old towel or sheet or something in the dryer and run it on high to make sure all the crayon is gone? Maybe some oxi-clean directly on the stains will take them out?

Tawny said...

Oh man... there certainly is only one word for that. Although I gotta admit I giggled a little ... inside...

I'm looking forward to the tutorial on how to turn my kids into shoplifters hehehehe

Alli said...

Bwahahahaha! I'm so sorry about your laundry, but your story seriously made me crack up! :D